Emotional Shopping & Minimalism Don’t Match
I had an action packed emotional weekend. Luckily I had a formal event to go to with my husband to refocus on something else. By the end of it all, I didn’t want to come home after a wonderful banquet and overnight stay at a gorgeous hotel. I felt that coming home represented having to contemplate about all that happened prior to the banquet and rethink my situation. Part of me wanted to do what I used to do. Go “window shopping”… and if something amazing comes along feel free to buy, buy, buy!
After another good night of sleep, looking back at my first instinct to solve my problems, I noticed it happened to be an old way I dealt with things. It’s called retail therapy and it truly is a myth. I never went shopping so don’t worry. I’m not going to author a blog on minimalism and also currently be a shopaholic. I’m proud to say that a cozy night in with a good movie was my real solution.
I find it interesting how advertising can lead you to form behavior that doesn’t serve you.
In commercials and print advertisements we are told that this product or service will bring us joy, happiness, and success. With that product we will get a fine, gorgeous man, great friends, an awesome new job, you name it. We shop to create joy when there is sadness or to reward ourselves when we accomplished something. The truth is retail therapy can happen when we feel good or bad. It’ll bring you into debt and most likely create a financial situation that will truly cause you unhappiness in the end.
I did some retail therapy four years ago that really sticks in my mind.
It was my first day of rehearsal after booking a job with an esteemed choreographer that I’d worked with before. As I was getting ready for work, I got a call from my agent saying that the choreographer was going to hold a mini audition at the beginning of rehearsal for some more girls. Ok, no big deal.
When I got to the studio, I was also being re-auditioned! If that wasn’t enough or even possible, the choreographer cut me!? Confused, hurt, and frustrated, I didn’t even know you could book a job, then be fired before even starting rehearsals from someone you’d worked with before. Over the years I’ve learned in my business unfortunately anything goes. It’s full out crazy most of the time.
I called my agent when I got to my car, and ended up getting paid for the day of rehearsal. The entire situation was unheard of to me, and the way it was done was outright malicious. The choreographer could have easily pulled me aside and told me that production was looking for something different. She could’ve been civil and told me to then call my agency because I was being let go, but that wasn’t how it went. I’ll spare you the extra drama.
The point is before I even got home, I made a stop by American Apparel and purchased more than $100 worth of goods. Even though I’d gotten some cute things I was still upset. My roller coaster of events lead me to spend money that I wasn't supposed to. I allowed my emotions to rule my money.
Here are a few thoughts to reroute you from an emotional shopping trip.
1. If you had a horrific day, a quick pick me up isn’t the solution.
Instead of going shopping, do something for yourself that will actually help the situation. Pray. Take a bubble bath. Watch a funny movie. Read a book. Exercise or in my case take a dance class. Turn on some music at home, and dance around wild until you fall on the floor out of breath. Go running. Walk in a gorgeous park. Go to the beach. Play with your dog or cat. Do anything but shop!
2. Make a list.
If there are some things that you do want to buy write them down and decide that you will go shopping for them in a week (a month if you’re disciplined). Over the week see if you still want really what those things on your list. Cross off the items that no longer excite you. At the end of the list check to see if the items are in your budget before you splurge. Also choose a few items to either give away, sell, or donate to make room for the new items that will be coming into your home.
3. Put aside 10% for yourself.
If you can allocate 10% of your income for purchases that you need or would like to do. That would include entertainment, eating out, and any shopping.
4. Instead of buying things, use your money for amazing experiences.
Sometimes an experience can cause more impact on your life than a great pair of shoes. I’ve been more inspired longer by seeing a musical, an outstanding dance company, or an incredible exhibit at the museum than with my favorite pair of brown heeled boots. There are performances that I saw as a child that still impact me to this day. Indulge in the arts instead of the mall.
5. Know that this too will pass.
Regardless of what has happened that caused the ill feelings, it won’t last forever. Count your blessings. There is nothing you can buy that is more valuable than life itself, and no purchase can really compete with that.
Much love!
Image by Dawn Michelle